Love and Marriage: Through the Lens of Sociological Theories
2007; The MIT Press; Volume: 5; Issue: 2 Linguagem: Inglês
ISSN
1540-5699
Autores Tópico(s)Demographic Trends and Gender Preferences
ResumoSince I was very young I have believed that you grow up looking for that one special person with whom you are entirely compatible, person that will be your partner in life through good and bad---someone you can depend on and who can depend on you, a person whom you have fallen in love with, and without whom you cannot imagine living rest of your life. When you find that person, you marry them and then you have children. This may be quite an idealistic perception, but it is gist of what I had learned, from observation, from stories, from media and from my parents; in short, I have been socialized to believe that this is way things are generally supposed to go. However, my upbringing was also quite liberal and although this is what I understood to be norm and what was generally de sired, I also knew, understood and respected others' ideas of what was desired and that not everyone would marry person they loved, or want to get married to or have children with at all. I knew that these variants were common and acceptable in my own culture, but I also knew about other cultures and other time periods and different family forms that exist other than this one. Even though I was aware of all of this, part of my own stock of knowledge and something I considered to be mutual knowledge, was that typical marriage in our current Western society was based on love. Or, in words of Sammy Cahn, immortalized by voice of Frank Sinatra, Love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage. However, in face of same-sex marriage debates that have been going on in United States for past few years, a variety of definitions for marriage have been put forth. Much to my surprise, however, few of these definitions have anything to do with love. In fact, Republican Senator Sam Brownback from Kansas has said in his criticism of legalization of same-sex marriage that, If marriage begins to be viewed as way two adults make known their love for each other, there is no reason to marry before children are born rather than after. And if it is immaterial whether a couple should be married before birth of a child, then why should they marry at all? (1) Naturally, I found this statement quite shocking, given my understanding that marriage was the way two adults make known their love for each other. In past it may have been case that most marriages were entered into as a political or economic arrangement in order to secure a more favorable position for one's self or one's family. It was also seen as only acceptable beginning of a new family, since sex was something that couples engaged in only after marriage and--at least in Catholic religion--only for procreation. But it has been my understanding that our modern times have allowed these concepts to change. Women no longer have to depend on their husbands for financial, social or political security; sex before marriage and not solely for procreation also seems to be generally accepted by society, and many couples who do get married cannot or choose not to have children at all. Thus, it would appear that marriages in Western societies today are by and large entered into as a public manifestation of love, a notion that is also confirmed by Beigel: By end of nineteenth century love had won its battle along whole line in upper sections of middle class. It has since been regarded as most important prerequisite to marriage. The American concept that considers individual happiness chief purpose of marriage is based entirely on this ideology (Beigel 330). Given that a national debate over who one can marry has become such a centerpiece of political discussion, as evident in same-sex marriage debate, perhaps it is wise to explore love and marriage again. It is interesting that for a topic as popular as love has been in literature, films, music, media and popular culture for centuries, only recently have social scientists really paid much attention to it. …
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