"Let Me Introduce Myself": My Struggle with Shyness and Conformity
2003; The MIT Press; Volume: 2; Issue: 1 Linguagem: Inglês
ISSN
1540-5699
Autores Tópico(s)Dutch Social and Cultural Studies
ResumoHi, my name is Sherry. I can't believe I just introduced myself! That's because we're not standing face to face. If we were, you can rule out my talking to you--unless we've already met. I have always been wary of approaching people that I do not know, whether it is out on a street or in a classroom. I have always wondered why I have a problem opening up, while others I know can talk to strangers as if they are lifelong friends. Also, when dealing with new people, I find myself conforming to their views, a practice that I do not like. When I was little, I would rely on my sister to meet other kids so that we could play together, or I would sit and wait until someone approached me to play. At that time I was not aware of the dilemma I was creating for myself by believing that others were responsible for my social interactions. With respect to my sister I became a free rider, even though my actions did not affect society as a whole. I would stand back and watch as my sister approached other kids; she became my gateway to new friends. Once we started playing tag or catch I might begin to open up, but I was never as outgoing as my sister. She wanted every one to do as she said, while I was always a follower. This childhood problem has followed me throughout my life and has affected my anticipatory socializations. Today I have trouble establishing new relationships with others because I expect others to open the way. But I can no longer rely on my sister to talk to my classmates or the people who live down the hall. And I can also not expect others to approach me to begin a conversation, for they may also be shy themselves. I am thereby forced to begin the introduction act myself, a process that is so difficult for me to begin with. Presently I am a junior in college and, of course, I have friends. I've allowed myself to open up to certain people. However, similar to Will in the movie Good Will Hunting, I am very selective about who those people are. Will was an intelligent person who chose not to maximize his potential by working simple jobs, such as in construction. Will went to jail as a result of a fight, but was released under the supervision of a Harvard professor. In probation, Will worked with the professor to solve complex math problems, but was also required to undergo therapy. During the therapy sessions, Will refused to allow the therapists to see his real self by joking and remaining silent. Eventually, Will related to one therapist and became comfortable enough to discuss his life. Like Will, I require time to become comfortable enough to share my life with someone. While I am first getting to know someone, I will occasionally censor myself to avoid saying something that I will regret. By censoring I mean that I will debate with myself whether to express a thought or simply let it remain as a thought. However, I find that I even censor myself when talking to my best friends and to my family. After I get over my initial fear and begin new relationships with others, I often conform to their views. Rather than having to defend my own ideas, I tell people what I think people expect to hear from me. I do this most often when I face people I have just met. Instead of expressing myself as an individual, I conform to society, whether it concerns clothes or opinions. In a way, I tend to be the opposite of Patch as portrayed in the movie Patch Adams. Patch often rejects conformity and shows how he will not be like everyone else. During one scene Patch conducts an experiment in which he walks down a street and says hello to anyone that he passes. While watching this, I envied Patch's carefree ways. To be able to even smile or say hello to a stranger would be a leap forward for me. At times I have trouble working up enough courage to acknowledge an acquaintance that I might have met the day before. Exercising my Sociological imagination, as proposed by C. Wright Mills, I intend to explore my personal troubles with shyness and conformity. …
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