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Christ-Like Love and Forgiveness: A Biblical Foundation for Counseling Practice

2007; Christian Association for Psychological Studies; Volume: 26; Issue: 1 Linguagem: Inglês

0733-4273

Robert K. Cheong, Frederick A. DiBlasio,

Forgiveness and Related Behaviors

Although love and forgiveness are embraced as concepts that go hand-in-hand, seldom does the literature and research address the interconnectiveness from an in-depth scriptural explanation. This article develops a theocentric understanding of human forgiveness rooted in the supreme grace of divine love. Love and forgiveness have divine origins; therefore, a Christian counseling perspective of love must emerge from an understanding of God's character, redemptive work throughout history, and command to love. Because love cannot be experienced in a fallen world without forgiveness, a perspective of love should also include forgiveness. A biblical case is made that forgiveness can never be understood correctly apart from love and vice versa. A counseling example is provided to demonstrate how God worked in the lives of family members who chose to approach each other with Christ-like love and forgiveness. This thinking opens new vistas for the exploration of research and the development of practice theories for counselors. Love is the very essence of life. Developing a correct perspective of love is paramount in knowing how to live life the way God intended, since God created the soul to love and to be loved. Receiving and sharing love during one's earthly journey also requires a deep grasp of forgiveness, since life cannot be lived without experiencing hurt and brokenness associated with relational offenses. Moreover, considering that God's love summarizes all of God's commands, a proper perspective of forgiveness is crucial for one to love in a way that pleases God and to help others in counseling situations. Therefore, the significant task of developing a Christ-like perspective of love must also consider the dynamics of forgiveness; likewise, a Christ-like perspective of forgiveness cannot be developed apart from an understanding of love. Given this inherent connection between love and forgiveness, where should one start? Beginning with the critical presupposition that both love and forgiveness originated with the Creator and Redeemer, a Christian perspective of love and forgiveness must start with God and be consistent with God's eternal relational paradigm of love (Cheong, 2005). Any counseling practice theory that is to be Christ-centered must have a strong theoretical structure and an intervention orientation based on biblical love and forgiveness. Four objectives of this article are: (a) to establish a right understanding of God's two-fold commandment to love; (b) to show the inseparable link between love and forgiveness; (c) to understand forgiveness based on God's love; and (d) to set up a biblical foundation from which a Christian perspective of love and forgiveness can emerge to guide the practice theory of Christian counselors. A practice theory with biblical love and forgiveness is the hallmark that distinguishes secular and semi-secular approaches from a counseling approach that is Christ-centered. To help illustrate the approach, we will start with the first part of a case study and toward the end, show how God worked to help this family resolve offenses through love and forgiveness. The Case Study: Part Judy, a 35-year-old mature believer in Christ, confessed to the counselor (the second author), I hate my father! The counselor noticed a problem with Judy's feelings about her father as it came up in marital and individual sessions. However, Judy's primary presenting problem was that she was chronically depressed and angry about difficulties with her husband and child to the point that she contemplated suicide. Often deep-rooted anger and unforgiveness issues from the family-of-origin arise when dealing with current family problems. Some of the unconscious attraction to a marital partner is an implicit role fit for a person to carry out unresolved issues and patterns from their original family (family-of-origin). The counselor suggested that a session involving her father, brother, and sister might help in resolving the past and present conflict with her father and siblings. …