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How Do I See You Relative to Myself? Relationship Quality as a Predictor of Self- and Partner-Enhancement Within Cross-Sex Friendships, Dating Relationships, and Marriages

2010; Taylor & Francis; Volume: 150; Issue: 4 Linguagem: Inglês

10.1080/00224540903365471

1940-1183

Marian M. Morry, Tara C. Reich, Mie Kito,

Family Dynamics and Relationships

ABSTRACT Individuals tend to rate themselves more positively than strangers or acquaintances—a self-enhancement effect. But such self-enhancement is potentially detrimental to one's intimate relationships. We hypothesized that higher relationship quality would predict (1) partner-enhancement (i.e., rating the partner more positively than the self) and (2) higher feelings of being understood and validated (FUV). In addition, (3) partner-enhancement would add to relationship quality's prediction of FUV. These hypotheses were tested among cross-sex friendships (N = 92) and dating relationships (N = 90) in University students and in a married, non-University sample (N = 94). All hypotheses were supported in romantic relationships. For cross-sex friendships, regardless of relationship quality, individuals partner-enhanced on the negative traits but neither self- nor partner-enhanced on the positive traits. Finally, relationship quality predicted partner-perceptions more strongly than self-perceptions. Keywords: friendshipspartner-enhancementpositive illusionsrelationship qualityromantic relationshipsself-enhancement Acknowledgments This research was funded by a University of Manitoba Research Grant to the First author. Notes 1. We tested whether scores on each scale differed across relationship types. One-way ANOVAs indicated no effect of Relationship Type for RAS, F(2, 272) = 0.63, ns, liking, F(2, 272) = 0.66, ns, loving, F(2, 272) = 2.34, p = .10, or the composite variable, F(2, 273) = 0.32. 2. We compared the correlations among the relationship quality variables across relationship types (see Tables 2 and 3). Using Fischer Z-tests, the RAS-Love, Z = 2.44, p < .007, and the RAS-Like, Z = 1.54, p < .07, correlations were larger for dating individuals than for friends. The Like-Love correlation did not differ, Z = −0.41. The RAS-Love, Z = −2.92, p < .03, RAS-Like, Z = −1.47, p < .07, and Like-Love, Z = −2.71, p < .003, correlations were also larger for married than dating individuals. Although the correlations differed across relation type, we used all three variables in our composite measure as the means did not differ across groups and the alphas within each group are all large. 3. We repeated each regression with the centered RAS, Liking, or Loving scores entered individually. For the positive traits, the results were identical to those in the main text. For the negative traits, the only exception was that the slope for Liking was smaller for married couples than for dating couples; at one standard deviation above the mean, married individuals neither self- nor partner-enhancement. 4. We also tested for gender effects by adding in the gender main effect and all two-way and three-way interactions. There was no effect of gender on the positive traits. For the negative traits, gender interacted with relationship type, but the results in the main text did not change. 5. We also tested for differences in RAS, Liking, and Loving. The results were identical with two exceptions. In Block 4, C2Love and C2Like were still significant, and the slope for married couples was still larger than the slope for dating couples or cross-sex friends. 6. Once again we tested for gender differences by adding the main effect and all two- and three-way interactions. There was no effect of gender on feeling understood and validated. 7. Alternative explanations include that individuals in closer or longer relationships are more likely to partner-enhance or that individuals who partner-enhance are more likely to stay in their relationships and become closer. In addition, self-esteem predicts self- and partner-perceptions. For example, high self-esteem individuals generally feel worthwhile as a human being and have respect for themselves, whereas low self-esteem individuals feel deficient, unworthy, and inadequate (CitationOwens, 1994). Individuals with high self-esteem feel accepted in their relationships, whereas low self-esteem individuals feel rejected (CitationDeHart, Pelham, & Murray, 2004). Therefore, we replicated our regressions and included CitationRosenberg's (1965) 10-item trait self-esteem scale (Cronbach α = .88), CitationAron, Aron, and Smollan's (1992) Inclusion of Other in Self (IOS) scale as a measure of perceived closeness, and relationship duration in the first block of the model. For the negative traits, these variables were not significant predictors, R2 = .01, F(3, 256) = 1.00, ns. For the positive traits, closeness (b = −.16, SE = .04, p < .001) was a significant predictor in the first block, R2 = .06, F(3, 256) = 5.02, p < .002, but was completely mediated by the other variables in the model. For FUV, both closeness (b = .48, SE = .04, p < .001) and self-esteem (b = .49, SE = .10, p < .001) were significant predictors in the first block, R2 = .44, F(3, 256) = 66.91, p < .001. Although these variables continued to predict FUV, they did not change any of the results noted in the main text. Additional informationNotes on contributorsMarian M. Morry Marian M. Morry is an associate professor of Psychology at the University of Manitoba, Canada. Tara Reich Tara Reich is a PhD student in the Department of Organizational Behaviour at the University of Manitoba, Canada. Mie Kito Mie Kito is a PhD student in the Department of Psychology at the University of Manitoba, Canada.