Dumb and Dumber: Even More Proof That Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction
2005; American Institute of Certified Public Accountants; Volume: 199; Issue: 5 Linguagem: Inglês
ISSN
0021-8448
Autores Tópico(s)Crime, Illicit Activities, and Governance
ResumoDid you hear the one about the bank robber who wrote a holdup note on the back of his own utility bill? We've come to expect that the garden-variety crook may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but fraudsters are supposed to be smarter, aren't they? Sit back, have a laugh and decide for yourself. DOCTORING CREDIT CARDS Wanda H., who had a trusted position at the Stanford Medical Center near San Francisco, needed to decorate her new home. So she accessed financial data belonging to some of the more prominent doctors at the facility and used their credit card information to pay for the furnishings. She was home free, so to speak, until she invited the same doctors to a housewarming party. They quickly figured out what was going on and reported her to the police. ATTENTION, WAL-MART SHOPPERS! Alice P. went on a shopping spree at a Georgia Wal-Mart, filling several carts to the brim. When the cashier totaled up $1,672 in merchandise, Alice handed the worker a $1 million bill and asked for the remaining change in cash. Knowing the largest U.S. bill in circulation was $100, Wal-Mart called the police. This is the first time in my law enforcement career that I've seen someone try to use a $1 million bill, said local police chief Almond Turner, who promptly arrested Mice. EXTENDED STUPIDITY No one had seen Joseph G. of Philadelphia steal the credit card. And as he had carefully disguised himself, it was impossible for the clerk at the stereo store to identify the person who actually charged $2,700 for a premium sound system. How then were the police able to arrest him so quickly? It seems the hapless fraudster also had purchased extended warranties on the new gear--using his real name and address. A TICKET TO JAIL Looking for a bit of extra cash to pay for a computer and printer, Anthony G. of Madison, Wisconsin, hatched a plan: He'd print fake parking tickets and mail them to local citizens. Anthony even rented an extra-large post office box for the money that no doubt would be pouring in. But the only thing that poured in was the cops. How did they find him? Although the tickets looked real enough, all of them had the same identification number--which just happened to match the one on his own recent parking ticket. PARDON ME? Albert D. was serving a long sentence in a federal penitentiary near Tampa, Florida, when he came up with a plan to build a nest egg to use when he was released. He told fellow inmates that, for a fee, he could get anyone a pardon directly from the president of the United States. Albert managed to collect $90,000 before anyone had the sense to ask, If you can get anyone a pardon, why are you still behind bars? THE DISAPPEARING ACT Jeffrey P. of West Lafayette, Indiana, thought he had devised the perfect crime: He'd write checks using disappearing ink. By the time they were processed for collection, he reasoned, the ink would be gone and his account wouldn't be charged. But enough traces of the ink remained so the police were able to easily figure out the scam. It also was simple for them to track Jeffrey down; his name and address were preprinted on the checks--in regular ink. THE DIGITLESS DENTIST John R.., a Jacksonville, Florida, dentist, had grown tired of his profession and he wanted out. So he hatched a plan with his two brothers to cut off one of his pinky fingers and claim it was a wood-chopping accident. That way, John would be disabled and could claim a large insurance settlement. The day of the crime, though, he got cold hands--so to speak--but his brothers didn't; they forcibly held him down and hacked off his finger. Sure enough, John collected a $1.3 million check from his insurance company. Part of the proceeds went to buy the digitless dentist a yacht he named Minus One. And he paid his brothers a total of $45,000 for their assistance. …
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