Portal de Periódicos da CAPES

No One Stabbed! No One Set on Fire! Halloween Successful!

2009; Lippincott Williams & Wilkins; Volume: 31; Linguagem: Inglês

10.1097/01.eem.0000344905.93934.af

1552-3624

Edwin Leap,

Religion and Sociopolitical Dynamics in Nigeria

If you've ever been involved with the military or law enforcement or in any sort of large-scale government project, you'll be familiar with the term After-Action Report. I've written them, and they're usually dull affairs that try to record events for posterity. They never really rise to the level of good reading. It's my goal to change that. My wife, daughter, brother-in-law, and his two youngest had to be out of town during our recent Halloween party. Consequently, I had my three sons Sam, Seth, and Elijah; my two oldest nephews, Quinn and Zane; and a large house in need of preparations for preteens and teens to celebrate Halloween. Fortunately, I had the technical support of my sisterin-law, Dawn. The following are excerpts from my After-Action Report to Mrs. Leap, household commander. The house was relatively clean, though we still had to vacuum. Battle ensued with onslaught of hundreds of thousands of lady bugs. It was very Hitchcockian, and fit the theme of the season well. Attempts to engage in school work were immediately voted down by the children, who outnumbered me 5 to 1. All books and toys were put away, and the children searched for necessary items for costumes. Long discussion ensued with Elijah over whether his scarecrow costume could at the last minute be changed to the more manly Samurai, which would also require a weapon. Work was interrupted briefly for shooting clay pigeons in the back yard with oldest son's new shotgun. Priorities, you know. Trash from the yard was cleaned. No small job, with our year-old Lab-Great Dane mix (aka Dante) now eating every nonliving thing in the yard. Dry brush and old logs were moved from forest to bonfire site. Long discussion ensued with boys about the meaning of burn center and skin grafting. Longer discussion about why we never use fire accelerants like lighter fluid or gasoline for bonfires. Vital point: Boys always need adult guidance to stay alive. Short discussion about why we never play Jack-be-nimble and jump over said bonfire. Emergency physician father gave several graphic illustrations from personal memory. Food and drink were purchased for the party, and arranged neatly on table. Pizza was ordered. Enormous bowl of candy was placed on the countertop. Zane sincerely believed I was blind, and slithered across the open floor, snakelike, to the bowl of candy. He took multiple pieces. “You know I can see you, right?” I asked. “What?” He replied as he ate candy by the handful. Boys decorated forest with skulls and goblins in hopes of walking through the woods in the dark, scaring girls witless. Ultimately, even boys refused to walk down their own trail. Note for next year: Hire someone in Big Foot suit to hide in woods. Seth, dressed as a Scottish warrior, needed his face to be painted blue. As previously directed by house commander, I mixed blue food coloring with white theatrical paint and covered my son's face. Much to my dismay, blue color would not wash off of my hands. Son's eyes grew wide in distress because the next day we would be going on the Juvenile Diabetes Walk for the Cure. He didn't want to look like William Wallace in Braveheart. As of this report, most blue coloring is now off my hands and his face. Oldest son, along with two other young men dressed as Dalmatians in conjunction with female party attendee, Rebekah, who was Cruella De Vil. Once dressed as Dalmatians, teenage boys are unlikely to allow photos. They hid in the dark until threatened by author of this report. Blackmail quality pictures now on file. Young scarecrow continued to press for sickle, scythe, or Samurai sword. Request denied, though we did put up a piece of wood for him to hang on in the dark, looking sufficiently creepy. Nephew Quinn looked excellent in German Army officer's coat, which was won by his mother, Dawn, in poker game years before. Dawn, dressed as Lady Arwen from Lord of the Rings, made excellent pizza delivery girl. All kids, and there were many, enjoyed “Night of the Lepus,” a campy 1970s horror movie about giant, carnivorous rabbits. Squeals of fear and delight from basement were rewarding. Too much pizza was left over, but everyone was happy and exhausted at the end of the evening. No one stabbed by weapons, no one set on fire, no human sacrifices attempted. Next time, Mrs. Leap, you're in charge! End report.