The Other Four Letter Word
2011; Agricultural Education Magazine; Volume: 84; Issue: 3 Linguagem: Inglês
ISSN
0732-4677
Autores Tópico(s)Cooperative Studies and Economics
ResumoI grew up on a farm, but 1 certainly did not set out to marry a farmer. I met my husband when we were both working on advanced degrees. We shared fairly similar career paths, as I was a 4-H educator and he was an agriculture teacher. We understood each other's jobs and were able to relate to each others' work lives and even commiserate about situations and daily headaches. As we got to know each other, I quickly learned that he also 'helped' on his family's dairy farm. This didn't alarm me at first; I was a farm girl, right? However, I quickly discovered that dairy farming was a whole different ball game and that 'helping' on the farm actually equated to a second full-time job with horrible hours and little pay. I jokingly (most of the time) refer to the farm as 'the four letter f-word.' My husband and I were married in 2004, less than a year and a half after meeting one another. At the time, in addition to our busy careers and the farm, I was pursuing a PhD and was driving over an hour one way to classes. Early in our marriage I did the majority of the household chores including cleaning, laundry, paying the bills, and the majority of the lawn care. However, my husband helped with a large portion of the meal preparation. I did many of the household tasks while he was busy at the farm. At the time, this division of labor was doable for both of us. Anyone that has children can tell you that they change your life forever. My husband and I have found this to be true. In December 2008, I graduated with my PhD and we decided it was time to start a family. Our daughter was born in September 2009. Before we had children, we tried to plan summer camps, evening meetings, and other activities on the same nights/weeks; having children has forced us to do the exact opposite. We try to make sure our summer camps don't fall at the same time, that we both don't have evening activities on the same day so someone can pick her up from the sitter's and be home with her in the evenings. This forced us to communicate our schedules more with one another than was necessary in the past. It was, and continues to be, a challenge. We still have many evenings where we both have something scheduled. Then, my mother-in-law is often called upon to pick our child up from the sitter's and care for her until one of us gets home. After our child's arrival, it became more difficult for me to manage a full-time job, the housework, the bills, laundry, and the lawn. Thankfully, now our child is at an age where my husband can take her to the farm with him, which gives me an opportunity to get some things done around the house. I have also had to ask my husband to do more around the house. I was adamant that something had to 'give' this summer, my busiest time of year as a 4-H educator, so we hired someone to mow the three-acre yard. Never in a million years did I think I would pay someone to mow my yard, but it's been a blessing. Everyone thinks that as a teacher, my husband is 'off in the summer. However, as an agriculture teacher who also advises the school's FFA chapter, he actually has a full year contract which means he works a lot of evenings and weekends throughout the school year and also works some during the summer, attending FFA camp and visiting the homes of his students. His work in the summer, coupled with his work at the farm means our daughter still goes to the sitter most days in the summer. While we certainly don't pretend to have all of the answers, here are some of the things we've learned in our attempts to balance work, family, and farm: Finding good quality, reliable childcare is a must. I never really considered being a stay-at-home mom. It sounds bad to admit this, but I like working outside the home, and I really do enjoy my job and the relationships with my colleagues and the 4-H youth. Are there times when I feel guilty? Yes, I'm convinced that every working mother experiences a certain amount of guilt. …
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