Portal de Periódicos da CAPES

The Mother, the Daughter, and the Holy Horse: A Trilogy

1995; University of Iowa; Volume: 25; Issue: 2 Linguagem: Inglês

10.17077/0021-065x.4373

2330-0361

Judy Ruiz,

American Literature and Culture

The worst feeling of lost I ever had was when I was eighteen. I'd left home, I think. Maybe not. Those times were so intensely sad that I lose track. One night, I drove around in a '55 Chevy all evening, knowing that the man who owned the car would want something in return for letting me drive it, not to go all the way, as we called it back then, but to do some kissing, maybe some petting. So I drove and drove and it never entered my mind to just abandon the car. I drank 3.2 beer and drove some more. Finally, around midnight, I drove the car back to the owner's house. He was waiting for me on his porch. He came out to the car and got in and wanted to kiss me and he had a harelip, with a voice that seemed to come from a well inside his head. All I can remember is that I didn't want to kiss him, but I felt I owed him because he had let me drive his car around all night. Now I can't remember if I kissed him, but I think I did. Then I walked to a friend's apartment in hopes of getting some He let me in and I asked if I could sleep there and he said sure. I had awakened him, but he went right back to bed, without turning any lights on. I took off my shoes and got into his bed in my clothes. We slept. He woke me up kissing me and touching my breasts, and then he was on top of me and he didn't pull my panties off. He just pulled the crotch part over to one side and went inside me. It was over with in about a blink. I got up and asked him if I could wash my clothes out in the sink and stay there until they were dry enough to wear. He said sure and gave me a shirt of his to wear. I washed my skirt and blouse and hung them by the space heater to dry. It was cold that autumn. Then his parents came over. I was sitting on a chair by the heater with my legs hanging out. He talked to his parents. They wanted to know who I was and he told them, No one. She needed a place to sleep.