Portal de Periódicos da CAPES

Brandt's Rants

2018; Lippincott Williams & Wilkins; Volume: 40; Issue: 9 Linguagem: Inglês

10.1097/01.eem.0000546146.10040.c1

1552-3624

Robert Brandt,

Child and Adolescent Health

compassion: compassionFigureYoung Leo (not his real name) had learned from his well-intentioned parents that you should flush after you poop. The poop is magically whisked away to the sewers. Upon hearing poop went into the sewers, everything was not fine with young Leo. Why? Well, who lives in the sewers? That's right. Leo's heroes, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The child did not want to poop on his ninja friends. At his age, real versus fiction remained hilariously hazy. Leo had no difficulty believing that four turtles could mutate into talking, crime-fighting ninjas led by a giant rat while living in the sewer and eating pizza. No problem. The realization that poop goes to the sewers and onto his turtle friends, however, triggered never-going-to-poop-again anxiety. Kudos to kid logic, I suppose. I know I'd feel distraught if I imagined Raphael karate-fighting the evil Shredder and then–WHACK–poop fell on him, giving the advantage to the deadly Foot Clan. To be honest, though, it would make for some interesting episodes. Fortunately, the parents explained to young Leo that ninja turtles live in New York, so his poop would not hurt the turtles from several states away. I have no clue what New York parents tell their children. What's my point? Kids and ED patients can be completely illogical at times, but their concerns make perfect sense in their minds. Like these brilliant parents, we must be tolerant and compassionate. When a patient's concerns are based on misinformation, we should still remain kind, understanding, and caring. Nearly all seasoned EPs have cared for a patient covered in tattoos who says he loathes needles. I can feel your eyes rolling. Stop. Don't scream or belittle them. The fact remains that they are scared of the needle in the medical setting. Treat them just like you would treat anyone else who fears needles. Treat them with kindness and patience. This can be extremely difficult, and we all fail from time to time. Surviving Your PPPK Every physician has his own patient-pet-peeve-Kryptonite. (What's your PPPK?) For many in my group, it is when patients won't put down their cellphones. I get irritated when patients tell me what is wrong after reading misleading “research” online. I know I should embrace self-education, but for some reason (my personal flaw), it often gets under my skin. I remember I cared for a patient with a red spot in her armpit. She was sure she had been bitten by a spider. She never saw a spider. No one in the house saw a spider. This happened in February in Michigan, which is not exactly prime spider season. I don't believe I have ever seen a patient with an abscess from a spider. I tried to set my feelings aside regarding the (likely imaginary) spider. But when I entered the room, she was on her cellphone, and she seemed deeply engrossed with a person named “I Know, Right?” I assumed this since she said “I know, right?” roughly 794 times in the 90 seconds I waited for her to finish her conversation. She eventually hung up. Then we had the following conversation, but my brain kept rudely butting in while she peppered our conversation with tidbits she had obtained from the internet. GURRL: It's a spider bite; I read about it. My brain: It looks like an abscess. Where did you read about it? Me: I see. GURRL: I know, right? Yeah, I think I need antibiotics. I saw on Reddit I should use potatoes, but I only had ranch dressing, and for some reason, it hasn't been helping. My brain: Shocking! Delicious dipping sauces didn't cure an abscess. Me: I think you have an abscess. It needs to be drained. We have found that antibiotics actually are not needed in the vast majority of— GURRL: Well. Online I saw that you can get the leprosy if.... My brain: Stay calm. Here's a picture of a pink duck driving a Lamborghini. Isn't that funny? Now you don't want to yell at her, right? Good. Calm. Oh, look, she's almost done with her rant. Say something positive. Me: Yes! So we're going to numb that up and drain it and get you better. GURRL: I know, right? I admit my weakness. Despite my sarcastic brain making snarky comments, my filters usually work, and I always try to remain calm and compassionate. If that doesn't help, then I think of the turtles. There we go; I got some compassion back. Those poor poop-covered turtles. Share this article on Twitter and Facebook. Access the links in EMN by reading this on our website or in our free iPad app, both available at www.EM-News.com. Comments? Write to us at [email protected].