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The Evolution of the Cape Cod Model: Gestalt Conversations Theory and Practice

2019; Penn State University Press; Volume: 23; Issue: 1 Linguagem: Inglês

10.5325/gestaltreview.23.1.0084

1945-4023

E. Rachel Hochman,

Child Therapy and Development

Fundamentally, this book is about “a way of living in the world” (3), optimistically and with “good relational form” (42). As people, professionals, and practitioners we need to “know how to make connections on many different levels, to see and be seen, to speak and to listen, to touch and be touched; in sum to be in relationship” (36). In this volume, Joseph Melnick and Sonia March Nevis share an optimistic, open-to-possibilities manner of developing the skills and perspectives to live well in relationship to others. Their framework is based on the “Gestalt approach—helping people to live and function creatively in an ever-changing world” (7). The competencies, values, principles, and assumptions of the Cape Cod Model (CCM) support healthy psychological growth and development through “relational connecting skills” (7), and provide a guide to optimistic and nonjudgmental noticing: what is working well, what might benefit from improvement (49), and creative pathways toward improvement both in one's own system and in a clients' system.As a business and life coach, I see the “Underpinnings of the Cape Cod Model” (4–7, 249–52) as a detailed set of competencies from which to consider my coach position and presence, as well as how my clients and I may or may not be living well in our relationships, and what we might choose to do better. I have paraphrased the underpinnings of the CCM and formatted each as questions to consider for self-reflection, but these questions are easily translatable to reflection for and with clients: (1)Am I willing to notice my habits and way of being? Am I open to possibilities of change, and to expressing the range of my over-developed to under-developed ways of being? Am I keeping in mind that awareness creates choice, and choice possibilities for change?(2)Do I give myself permission to accept that pain, sadness, and loss may arise when I recognize a way of being that is not consistent with healthy relationship?(3)Am I attending to both my thoughts and emotions? Am I using both thought and emotion before acting, or do I rely more heavily on one way of being?(4)Am I living in the now, or from my past, or toward my future? How would living in the now perpetuate a healthy relationship in the moment? If I am not living in the now, where am I and why? How do I place myself where I am?(5)How is the field impacting organizing my and others' experiences, reactions, and responses?(6)Am I sensing what is “in-between” (107) in relationship and how the in-between is cocreated by all involved? Am I taking ownership of my “parts?” Am I staying curious about others' roles?(7)Do I give myself permission to be curious about whether my habits are useful or productive? Do I give myself permission to change undesirable habits? Am I kind enough to myself, such that I recognize that I created my habits to solve a problem, even if those particular habits are no longer useful? Do I give myself choice regarding when I engage in habits, or am I on auto-pilot?(8)Where am I with respect to the uncertainty of life, under-functioning, over-functioning, accepting uncertainty with courage, staying curious with the possibilities, and so on?(9)Am I recognizing the usefulness of my resistance? Am I creating balanced boundaries for myself?(10)Am I offering kindness to myself, and to others, in the form of recognizing that we are all doing the best we can?(11)Am I processing missed expectations, mishaps, and mistakes as learning experiences? If not, what do I need to tell myself or give myself to do so?(12)Am I responding to others in an open-minded way, so that they feel comfortable sharing with me and I feel comfortable sharing with them?(13)Do I recognize how power is shared in relationship; am I open to being influenced and comfortable sharing my influence?(14)What do I need to be comfortable with hierarchy? How do I promote clear communication at all levels of hierarchy?(15)How am I presenting myself? What is the impact of my presence? What is the utility of my presence?(16)How am I attending to my cycles of experiences? Am I attending to them at all? Am I stuck or moving through the cycle with my experiences? What is my learning?(17)Am I willing to experience things that are different from who I am? What do I notice about how I change when I encounter people and things different from me? What do I notice about how I grow and change when I am with people and things that are like me?As good teachers do, Melnick and Nevis revisit and model critical concepts, especially the Cycle of Experience (COE), relational connecting skills, and optimism. There is a strong spiral of the COE throughout the book, beginning with their introductory statement: “What we mean by living in the world is a manner of embracing life, approaching others, processing what happens and moving on to our next experience” (3). The reader's experience both begins and ends with the “Underpinnings of the CCM” (4–7, 249–52), which are described in the Introduction and reiterated in the Conclusion, thereby offering the opportunity to engage at the beginning and reflect at the end, so that the reader may complete a full cycle of the COE. On top of the COE, the authors layer and relayer their focus of “relational connecting skills” (7). They ask the reader to consider noticing how she experiences/responds to the “Underpinnings of the CCM” (4–7, 249–52) by “show[ing] them to a friend and talk[ing] about them” (3–4). An optimistic stance is an “essential attribute” (11) of connection in relationship, the Gestalt approach, the CCM, and any coaching practice. Again, Melnick and Nevis initiate the reader's experience with the enthusiastic words “embracing life” (3), and go on to describe the value of optimism in “allow[ing] us to meet the uncertainty of the next moment with the energy to deal with whatever emerges” (51). That is exactly what we are meant to do as coaches, consultants, and interveners. As stated in the International Coaching Federations Core Competencies (2017), the coach is expected to be “spontaneous”: “dancing in the moment.” How else can we be present to the possibilities in our clients and ourselves?In Chapter 3, “Intimacy,” the authors discuss the idea of relationship as a creative process, “going from an I to creating a we.” Thus, they use the artistic metaphor of “good form,” which they define as “an ability to connect at the beginning, to do the task, and to end in a good way” (42), thus bringing the reader back to the concept of COE. The twelve intimacy skills they ask the reader to consider provide a structure for noticing what intimacy consists of, what its absence might look like, and what might engender intimacy if it has been lost or undeveloped. They describe Intimacy Skills that lead the reader directly back to the Underpinnings: (1) Learning to manage differences (see 17 above), (2) Keeping interest alive (see 1, 2 above), (3) Using humor to soften interactions (see 3, 5, 6, 11 above), (4) Being willing to influence and be influenced (see 12, 13 above), (5) Bearing disappointment and disappointing others (see 10, 11), (6) Creating good form (see 16 above), (7) Focusing on the here and now (see 4 above), (8) Having the capacity to work hard and the discipline to live out agreements (see 11, 13, 14 above), (9) Creating novelty throughout: Having an experimental attitude and methodology (see 1, 7, 17 above), (10) Finding the right blend of autonomy and connectedness (see 6, 12, 13 above), (11) Cocreating experience (see 5, 6, 10, 13 above), and (12) Knowing when enough is enough, when to hold on and when to let go (see 1, 2, 4, 7, 8, 13, 14 above). Melnick and Nevis developed the CCM to create a process that can lead people to have a connection. Obviously, connection is the first and reiterative step critical to creating and maintaining relationship. This understanding of the elements of intimacy provide my coaching practice with a more detailed way to assess my ability to “Establish Trust and Intimacy with the Client” (International Coaching Federation, Core Competencies 2017), and to consider my clients' level of trust and intimacy in their relationships so that I can support their awareness of connection.When we approach our relationships from “the Gestalt principle that ‘all of us are doing the best we can, given our assessment of the environment,’” we approach our relationships and our world with a creative mindset that is full of possibilities. In Chapter 4, “Optimism,” Melnick and Nevis elucidate the optimistic stance that is obvious in reading between the lines of the CCM Underpinnings (4–7, 249–52). This perspective is critical to “creating the conditions for insights to occur,” which is “one of the primary goals of practitioners of the CCM” (59) and of coaches, who “help the client to gain awareness,” and “promote active experimentation and self-discovery” (International Coaching Federation Core Competencies 2017). Melnick and Nevis, however, initiate the chapter by discussing pessimism as a more natural tendency that results in: narrowed perspective, tense responses, foreboding joy, helplessness, and scarcity mindset. Their detailed discussion of understanding experience through both pessimistic and optimistic lenses clarifies these habits of explanatory style and resultant life choices. This viewpoint provides additional awareness for me as a coach, as I approach my own perspective and my clients' perspectives. Internally, I might ask the questions, “Am I or the client ready to experiment?” “What will happen, what will our perspective be, if I or the client are disappointed or fail?” “What will happen, what will our perspective be, if I or the client succeed?” “How might I or the client approach this process from the optimistic perspective of growth and development, that there is no success or failure, just learning and moving onto next?”And so, it is “that every full experience has a beginning, middle, and end” (63). Melnick and Nevis open Chapter 5, “The Cycle of Experience” with a dialogue about what they notice about their own cycles and how the COE was created. They mention that they both hate endings and like middles. The humor in their dialogue is apparent and engaging. The reality of discomfort with a portion of the cycle encourages the reader to ask herself the question, “What parts of the COE is she most engaged by?” I, for one, have primarily focused on beginnings and middles. I really enjoy the planning and doing; the awareness, mobilization, and contact parts. The meaning-making and closure are more challenging for me, but the more I engage in good endings, the more I recognize their value and seek out the reflection time needed for meaning-making. Additionally, I find the authors' assertion that “closure is a myth” (80) affirming. Recognizing that “important experiences remain with us forever, often leading to learning and development,” or to “a type of stuckness and loss of functioning” (80), creates a choice. I can use all endings for learning and development, even the sticky ones, when I notice the “triggers” that bring up the unfinished business of those sticky endings and “value them as important to learning” (81)—which circles the reader back to that optimistic viewpoint. And, let me be clear: this is not a Pollyanna perspective, but “about learning not to stay attached to the negative when things don't turn out in ways we had hoped” (53)—which is a useful transition to the subsequent chapters in section one about creating, managing, and maintaining habits.The Evolution of the Cape Cod Model: Gestalt Conversations Theory and Practice is divided into four sections, plus a set of appendices. The first section provides a deep introduction to the core concepts of the CCM that were developed primarily for working with individuals; the second discusses using the CCM in larger systems, families, and work settings; the third broadens the authors' philosophy to their teaching practice as both instructors and interveners; and the fourth discusses more of the “doing” of the program: exercises. The appendices offer a dictionary of Gestalt Core Concepts, a sampling of suggested readings that expand on Gestalt theory, and thoughts on unfinished business. Each chapter is infused with multiple stages of development of the authors' philosophy about Gestalt concepts, and how we organize ourselves in relationships. This is an accessible, jargon-free, plain language volume filled with vignettes, dialogues, and references that succeed in deepening and exemplifying the practices and principles of the CCM.It is obvious that the authors intended great utility from this volume. It becomes clear that attending the Cape Cod Training Program at the Gestalt International Study Center would significantly enhance people's ability to be in relationship and to support others to be in relationship, by “learn[ing] which parts of this complicated joining process they do well, and which parts they can improve” (49), and how they might do so. Until I have time to fit the Cape Cod Training Program into my schedule, I will consistently return to the list of questions inspired by the “Underpinnings of the CCM.”