Portal de Periódicos da CAPES

Tribute to Henri Parens, M.D.

2022; Wiley; Volume: 19; Issue: 4 Linguagem: Inglês

10.1002/aps.1788

1742-3341

Sophie Parens,

Palliative Care and End-of-Life Issues

I had the unique experience of helping Zaida retire at the age of 93. We went through his contacts and one by one, he informed his patients and colleagues that he would have to stop his work. It was truly unbelievable to hear the replies on the other line. The common thread was that Zaida had played a life-changing, and often lifesaving, role in their lives. While being able to witness this was an incredible blessing, what bowled me over the most was hearing about the people who barely knew him. The nurses in his facility who had known him only a few months but cried when he passed. The super in his old building who spoke of him so fondly. He made every person he crossed paths with feel seen and special. He slowed down; he took the time to take care. He treated people with respect, and warmth, and like they mattered. He did so many amazing things, but this is what has been sticking with me the most as I grieve. I heard someone say recently, “there are two types of people in the world: those who have bad things happen to them and say, I'm going to make the rest of the world pick up the tab for the rest of my life. And those who say, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure what happened to me doesn't happen to anyone else.” Zaida was the latter. Given every reason to turn brittle with hate, he chose love. With so much to rage against, he was peaceful and full of gratitude. This has baffled me for my entire life, and I will be in awe of him for the rest of time. If you haven't already, you will lose someone you can't live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and you never completely get over the loss of a deeply beloved person. But this is also good news. The person lives forever, in your broken heart that doesn't seal back up. And you come through, and you learn to dance with the banged-up heart. Zaida lived with a banged-up heart and worked tirelessly to heal those of others. May we also learn to dance, and may he live forever in our broken hearts. May his memory be a blessing.