Ecstatic Rest and the Black Gaze in a Time of Loss
2022; Volume: 62; Issue: 1 Linguagem: Inglês
10.1353/cj.2022.0068
ISSN2578-4919
Autores Tópico(s)Cinema and Media Studies
ResumoEcstatic Rest and the Black Gaze in a Time of Loss Melissa Lyde (bio) Peace of mind is received when the body is allowed to rest. Rest seems rather minor alongside the colossal and endless loss of life magnified by COVID-19 these last few years. But when you give yourself over to rest, you've effectively participated in your body's healing response, and healing is miraculous. Our bodies fight for us; it's the single organism that validates a genuine presence by inexplicably regenerating. And rest is required for this to occur in even the smallest of ways. Cinema is a part of the reparative process, given it's one of the most restful forms of entertainment. Alfreda's Cinema has been an ongoing Black film series in residence at the Metrograph since 2019, bringing a range of programming that primarily centered Black women, and when COVID-19 struck the city, it created chaos. The pandemic cataclysmically altered our way of life down to the most minuscule of functions. Cinema is a lifestyle, so I won't say it took a backseat during the shutdown but for the time while theaters closed. Nonetheless resilient, Metrograph welcomed audiences to continue to view its programming online. And Alfreda's Cinema was invited to curate in this new virtual space while our lives in the most literal sense came to a screeching halt. Two years later and looking back, I'm still processing the task of programming films during a shutdown. I ask, Why did I do it? How was programming film part of fighting yet another global health crisis? And was it an effective part? In this age of representation, smart tech, and resignation, we're exhausted. I live in Brooklyn, a culturally rich city where you don't have to go far for a good time. But the weight of being Black brought out the trauma stored in my body. And what I felt was needed most through film programming was work that could heal the scars of real time through cinematic time and space. [End Page 162] Being inundated with public executions of Black Americans as breaking news, day in and day out, left me deeply isolated. And the sensationalism of broadcasters reporting on these murders closely resonated for me with the frenzy of Blackface and lynching postcards; it all felt performative. I personally couldn't cope. I found myself even more anxious around police, thinking that I could be gunned down next. Like so many people, I fell into depression that I'm not completely out of. However, I shifted from going to pieces by radicalizing my cinema practice to induce a form of ecstatic rest and cinema. I quit a job I hated because it surrounded me with white privilege that disregarded my wellness. Over the next year, I reshaped my understanding of self-love. I focused on my mental and physical health. And I thought very seriously about the extension of Alfreda's Cinema as a brick and mortar. I made it a me year. I read (bell hooks mostly), watched Turner Classic Movies, and bought records. I spent practically every weekend at the record shop because it's more fun than therapy. I learned the art of deep listening. And I took that infamous leap of faith and began my sojourn of building a home of our own for Alfreda's Cinema. First off, I've never been as happy as I am now. But leaving a steady job to start your own business is like welcoming heartache; it's confrontational and it bleeds you. In a way it's sadomasochistic, and I've never felt as raw as I do now, which echoed in my thematic programming. Protect Black Women (various directors, 1996–2021), Move: Confrontation in Philadelphia (Karen Pomer and Jane Mancini, 1980), Two Early Works by Isaac Julien: Territories and Who Killed Colin Roach? (Isaac Julien, 1985, 1983) with Light Industry, A Powerful Thang (Zeinabu irene Davis, 1991), Nina Simone: The Performance Is Protest (various directors, 1975–2020), Dancehall Queen (Don Letts and Rick Elgood, 1997), and my most recent program, Kindred: A Consideration of Black British Cinema through the Lens...
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