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Revising Eternity: 27 Latter-day Saint Men Reflect on Modern Relationships

2024; Volume: 11; Linguagem: Inglês

10.5406/21568030.11.12

2156-8030

Alexandria Griffin,

Mormonism, Religion, and History

in revising eternity: 27 latter-day saint men reflect on modern relationships, Holly Welker has assembled personal essays from Latter-day Saint (or former Latter-day Saint) men examining relationships, sexuality, gender, and families. Revising Eternity constitutes a sequel of sorts to Welker's previous edited collection Baring Witness.1 The book's overall point might best be encapsulated by Patrick Mason's statement in the book's foreword that, despite the presentation of a singular Mormon ideal for families, marriages, and masculinity, “the theological and cultural ideal never fully encompassed the community's very real internal diversity” (xi). These essays, then, are intended to help flesh out what that internal diversity looks like on a more intimate level.Revising Eternity's foreword and introduction both acknowledge its limits. Welker notes that all but two contributors were White. Despite the title's use of the broad term “relationships,” the overwhelming majority of the contributions specifically discuss marriage. The contributors are all American; Mason asks, “If American Mormon men sometimes struggle to conform to American Mormonism's cultural expectations, what does that look like for Mexican, Nigerian, Filipino, Korean, and Russian Mormon men?” (xiv). No one book can encompass everyone; perhaps future volumes could include more men of color, a diversity of relationships, and an international scope.Welker's introduction reflects on her prior collection of essays by Mormon women and provides a history of marriage in the United States and in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This historical survey could be enlightening to many nonscholarly readers, but does not necessarily provide a novel analysis of those intertwined histories. Though the vast majority of essays are fairly traditional in format, a few take other forms, such as a prose poem, or one essay framed around the writer baking a pie every day for a month, with a story told day by day along with each pie.A few particular themes recur throughout Revising Eternity. Notably, just under a third of the book's twenty-seven contributions in some way discuss the author's decision to leave the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In some essays, this is addressed with a glancing reference, but in others it consumes the majority of the essay. For some writers, leaving the church is a catalyst for a divorce; in others, a spouse decides to leave the church as well, or the couple navigates a way forward in a marriage with one member and one nonmember. Some of Revising Eternity's most interesting engagement with concepts like eternal marriage come from essays about leaving the church. In “By the Drinking Fountain,” Eric Robeck argues that “the doctrine of eternal families is one of the most beautiful teachings in Mormonism. But it comes with a cost”: namely, that one spouse leaving the church has an immediate potential impact on the eternal status of their marriage (29).Sex and sexuality, as might be expected in a volume focused on marriage and relationships, is another recurring topic. Sex itself is discussed openly in several essays, and many contributors explore how Mormon conceptions of sex and marriage have impacted their own relationships. Multiple contributors delve into the impacts of Mormonism's intense focus on heterosexuality for LGBTQ+ people. “Eternity in an Hour,” by Boyd Jay Petersen, follows his wife coming out as a lesbian and their decision to end their marriage, with her framing it as him being “released” from the “calling” of being married to her (100). In “Liken the Scriptures,” Andrew Spriggs writes that while “I understand a same-sex marriage may not seem very credibly Mormon at first glance,” he nonetheless feels that “my marriage to my husband is the most Mormon thing I have done and will continue to do” (63).Gender roles, and what it means to be a Mormon husband and father, are likewise engaged heavily throughout Revising Eternity. The book's first essay, “Transgressors” by Stephen Carter, directly engages the roles and expectations set for men and women in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” and recounts the author's frustration with some Mormon men's rejection of a nurturing role (23). In “Disability Check,” Caleb Scoville contemplates the mixed relief and shame he felt about receiving disability benefits, which enabled him to meet familial financial obligations but reminded him that he was unable to work. He therefore felt conflicted with Mormon expectations that a husband act as a family's primary breadwinner (198).For research purposes, the book's principal utility is in reading its essays as primary sources for the study of gender, sexuality, and masculinity in Mormonism. Revising Eternity, or selections from it, could also be useful in classes on religion and gender and/or sexuality. Its fairly detailed glossary (which defines terminology like “correlation,” “fast offering,” or “sealing”) may make the volume more accessible to students who are less familiar with Mormonism. Additionally, the provided discussion questions would be a good starting point for classroom discussions.